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Published by Ann Inoshita | Thursday, September 15, 2011 7:17 PM
Moon in the night sky
Like an angel in the night sky,
it watches and guides me.
It illuminates the dark path I walk.
It reveals what is concealed in shadows.
My fear subsides.
Dis is How I Talk
Some people tell me I get small kine accent
or dey tell me I get one FOB accent.
I cannot tell the difference when I speak
because I'm so use to talking lah dis.
From wea I come from, growing up,
talking pidgin is normal.
My dad and ma was born and raised in the Philippines.
When they immigrated here, their English got all hammajang kine,
so when they talk is all any kine mix of broken English.
Even my sistah ,braddah, uncles, aunties, cousins, and grandparents speak pidgin.
So is natural fo me to speak lah dis.
Nobody judge me or make fun of how I speak lidat.
I from the westside, country-side of Kaua'i
where most of everybody speak hammajang English
so no can help by the way I speak.
Is so funny because no mattah how hammajang sound,
we can still undastand each oda.
I gotta say, compared to oda places where people talk pidgin,
I neva did hear anybody speak pidgin dat is broke like how mines is.
For example, I was talking to my friend who live here O'ahu.
She from town. She speak good proper English.
When we first met she could tell by the way I speak to her.
When I try speak standard English she tell me,
"I can tell you're from Kaua'i. I could tell because of your moke accent. You're so moke."
My friend can speak dakine pidgin too if she like,
but she no like.
She knows how to turn um off and on.
Her pidgin no sound as bust up moke like mine though.
Had this one time where we was talking about our plans
of what we planned to do on da weekend.
I felt comfortable fo talk around her so I chose to talk pidgin.
"Ho yeah brak, hoi we gon go see that movie yea? Da one you said?
No throw da jag now, tellin' me cannot go lah dat cuz you get something
else fo do. We gotta watch dat movie cuz I heard was sick. So we betta watch
um ah, guarantee?..."
For one thing, get times that I no realize I stay
talking to my O'ahu friends in pidgin lidat.
I try speak standard English but,
somehow some of my pidgin English gets mixed.
I proud of wea I come from because growing up on Kaua'i,
speaking pidgin is natural.
I bring a different type of uniqueness when i meet new people here.
I gotta say my main language is pidgin.
I can speak pr try speak standard English but,
somehow, deep down I feel funny.
I know its only appropriate to speak standard English because
shame if I talk pidgin to somebody and they no undastand me.
Make me feel stupid.
As why I only speak pidgin to those I am comfortable around with and those who I know who speaks local.
If they speak local to me first, then I know I no gotta feel stupid
cuz i get the message that I can relate and can speak to them pidgin too.
Although, I just need to practice plenty so I no feel as funny.
If i practice it can just come naturally,
just how speaking pidgin come naturally to me.
Nothing Had Changed
A friend of mine told me you liked me.
I was just fourteen at that time.
Crossed my fingers,
hoping it would somehow work out.
Conversations at night carried on till early morning
simultaneously watching America’s Funniest Home Videos.
Laughter burst out of nowhere.
Our deepest secrets shared.
Longing for the days I’d see you again.
Rushing from school to get home.
Checking myself on the mirror for the last time,
“Do I look okay?”
Now, we’re a bit older.
I can’t believe we’re still together.
You make me laugh and feel secure.
I love you.
I Don’t Have Time
She sits outside waiting for her
to come home
to see her
to talk to her
watching the clouds as they turn from white to gray
feeling the wind blow through her long black hair.
Finally, a white car pulls up in the driveway.
Finally, she’s home.
“Mommy, mommy, I want to show you something”
She jumps up and down with a drawing of her family in her hand.
her mother replied
“I don’t have time”
“I’ll see it later”
The little girl walked inside through the brightly lit hallway.
Her eyes faced down as she walked to her bedroom,
“I guess I’ll show her later”.
The moon is up and she gets ready for bed.
Brings out her dark red comb with jeweled flowers at the end of the handle,
“Mommy, mommy can you brush my hair?”
“I don’t have time, maybe another night sweetie” her mother said.
She places her comb on her nightstand next to her bed
Her mother tucks her in and shuts the light
walks to the computer and continues her work.
After school, she waits again.
She watches the clouds turn from white to gray.
As the wind blows through her hair, her mother is home again.
“Mommy, mommy can we read this book”?
Jumping merrily, holding her flowery yellow dress against her skin
With the book in her hand, her mother replies,
“I don’t have time, please get inside”.
Then the girl cried to god,
“Why can’t she be there? Why can’t she make the time,
to look at my drawings, to brush my hair at night, to read me a book,
to just be there?
Please god, give her time”
The mother standing outside her doorway.
She turns to the side,
looks up at the wall,
walks down the hallway
at her daughters pictures.
Age by age.
Memory by memory.
“Where was I?”
You Not Pau Yet!
After three straight hours of cleaning, “I’m not pau yet?”
“No… ways! You gottah be kidding me right?”
Clean this, clean that is all I’ve been hearing.
I woke up early about 7:30am while the sun was still rising.
Followed every word that came out of their mouth.
Did everything as fast as I could so I can dig out and hit Makapu’u beach.
But guess what….?
The braddah had to open his big mouth and say
“You can’t leave till you pau cooking.”
My phone couldn’t stop making noise through all the text and calls.
Friends couldn’t wait no more,
so I grabbed the cooking pot and turned on the stove.
Heat up the saimin, put in some cabbage and some Vienna sausage in there.
When it was pau cooking, I grabbed a bowl and put em' in.
I walked up to my brother and told him that brunch was served,
Like it or not, it’s food.
Bettah than nothing!
I went to my room grabbed everything that I needed.
Called my friends back and all I could hear is them yelling to my right ear saying,
“HURRY UP, and GET YOUR OKOLE HERE NOW!”
I ran as fast as I could to my car.
Turned to my favorite reggae/Hawaiian station and blast the music.
Cool Down by Kolohe Kai started playing.
Just the perfect song to listen to while hitting the beach,
so I sang along and yelled “beach here I come.”
Where Are You, My Knight?
“Where are you?”
He asked himself this question as he sat with eager eyes
Like a child raising his hand hoping to be called upon by his teacher
Hoping to catch a glimpse of the chivalrous white knight that had protected him from the bullies who mocked his rainbow colored essence
and in his heart,
was the pot of gold that he wished to reward this knight
This knight who stood tall and strong like the words he spoke
To cut down the wizards that used their magic spells to make him believe that being gay was wrong
He was not in love with this knight
He was in awe of him
Made him believe that chivalry still existed in a world where men chose not to sit equally at a round table
All his life
He journeyed through a kingdom where social class existed to remind others that
if you weren’t the right kind of man
you were looked down upon as a slave by the men who knighted themselves as the “norm”
All he wanted now
was to search for that fairy tale hero
and live happily ever after.
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